Belfast OutReach

I was brought up in a Christian home and was saved at a very early age. By early teens my perfect secure little world  came crashing down around me. A lot of things happened at that time I had no control over. I had choices. Broken relationships, broken trust left me just that... feeling broken and desperately alone. In the years years to follow I became anorexic. That's how I coped. Subconsciously food or the lack of it was the one thing on my life that I had control over. Focusing on that meant I didn't have to deal with the ongoing pain in my heart. Nobody knew. On the outside I was strong and always smiling but on the inside when I was alone the mask came off. I felt so empty imprisoned by my own thoughts and emotions. I wasn't coping I was just trapping myself in a vicious circle. One particular night I felt I had sunk into a deep, dark pit with no way out. I was tired of the mask and the struggle. I felt I wasn't really living just existing. I had no words I